How to avoid ‘death by hurricane’

Coming to a terrified city near you.

With hurricane season unveiling its new fall lineup, folks living in the Caribbean, Mexico and the Gulf Coast are gearing up for what promises to be one spectacular shit-storm of bad luck and worse weather.

On the bright side, there are some basic components to a good hurricane survival plan, including:

  • Not living on or near coastlines that are repeatedly targeted by Nature’s unstoppable fury;
  • Driving as fast as possible in the opposite direction of the massive, belligerent cloud-beast;
  • Not getting drunk on the beach in flip-flops while filming the swirling juggernaut; and
  • Not counting on the government to provide any kind of relief or assistance whatsoever.

While these tips provide a solid foundation for hurricane survival, it’s best to cover your bases and read some real survival strategies should you ever find yourself in the path of destruction. And just to be safe, get yourself one of these little buggers, guaranteed to save your life should you ever need two feet of rope or a really, really ugly bracelet.

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